Risks of dating an older man
“He’s not ready for all of the pressures and responsibilities that go along with a committed relationship because his emotional maturity is not fully developed yet.” He’s either scared of love or loves you but feels like marriage means giving up his freedom, she adds—and that means you could be looking at girlfriend status for the long term.
Your biological clock is ticking away, meanwhile his might not even be turned on.
“The younger and less experienced he is, the more open he’ll be in his relationship with you.”Be forewarned, though: Less baggage can also mean a lack of relationship skills, such as communicating and resolving problems and conflicts, says Melanie Matcek, a matchmaker and relationship coach in San Antonio, TX.
Be selective about your battles and learn to compromise on things that aren’t vital to your relationship, she recommends.
Dating someone younger—whether you’re two or three years his senior or are talking cougar territory—certainly can work (look at Eva Longoria and her 4-years younger beau), but being an “older woman” in a relationship does tend to come with certain perks and downfalls.
If you want to make things work, be sure you can handle the following. Men reach their sexual prime in their twenties due to a spike in testosterone, while women typically reach theirs in their 30s and 40s.
“A man can sometimes make his girlfriend feel like more of a mommy-figure than a peer,” Ludwig says.
The chemistry is there and you’re on the same page about many things, but often your careers will be at different stages, which could lead to resentment, says Amber Soletti, founder of On Speed and Singleandthe
“Being older, you’re more successful and established, while he’s still climbing the corporate ladder or even getting a career going,” she says.
If so, you either need a partner to like the same things, or you need to find someone who is fine with you doing those things without him or her.
Assess Your Social Circles Take an honest look at your friends and anyone else who is a recurring character in your social life.
Are you always up for something fun and spontaneous?